2008- Reflections
2008 has passed in the wink of an eye.... 2008 has been an eventful year for me. A year of maturity, a year of growth, and a year of self-discovery.
My career path was a bit of a roller coaster ride. The initial months of this year was terrible for me; I almost lost my job and I was having a hard time with some colleagues probably due to some misunderstanding. But after consulting my supervisor and leaders in church, I stayed on to assess my situation and to learn from whatever mistakes I made. Thankfully, things took a turn in the second mid-half of the year and I am really enjoying my time and appreciating all my colleagues in office. :)
The church experienced an exponential growth (spiritually and physically) nearing the end of the year... with that, we grew with the church, as we all felt the heartbeat of the Lord... call it collective growing or religious efferversence, whatever, but in the beginning of the 2008, after deep meditation with the Lord, the church felt that growth was best at the community/ fellowship level; instead of just the individual level.
As all humans, I faced some some struggles at the time of growth too. I was thirsting for more things to come my way, I was thirsting for changes and I had a great desire to serve and contrbute in many and any ways in various ministries... But in the midst of all the striving and being pushed to lead, coordinate and serve, I forgot about my dependence on the Lord and I created a god out of myself. I became very haughty and egostical, priding myself in my capablities of multi-tasking and leadership and thinking that without me, there wouldn't be so much of a difference and impact. I belittled people from my beady little eyes and I worshipped myself in my heart. How disgusting. To all my fellow brethen in church- sorry for that.
When I realised that one afternoon, I kind of crumbled. It took me a while to get back to normal functioning, and therefore I did not do a good job with coordinating the decorating of the church for Christmas at the end. I'd rather fail and be scolded than to do well and to once again glorify myself at the end of it. This lesson of humility taught me many things, and it also helped to shape my resolutions for the new year...
On a lighter note, brawn achievement this year----
I LOST WEIGHT!!!! HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHHHAHAHAA
Completed some marathons, a mini-triathlon and a sprint-biathlon. Travelled far and wide to many places, including Perth, Beijing and Thailand. Had a grrreeat time with Sharzana to Malaysia for White water rafting. Its been a cool year.
Resolutions for 2009
I was meditating and reflecting for 2009. I dawned on me that this year is a year of Focus. Focus in every sense of the word. That means, streamdown my crazy load of service in ministry. streamdown my hectic schedule in sports. Streamdown my crazy races. Streamdown everything that will make me ditzy and "scatterbrained" to concentrate and do well in one.
Oh wait.... that means I need a "tok kong" organiser. Hmm...
Directions
I want to find my directions this year for my life. I have been studying and working all my life but without a concrete aim. Just drifting with the flow and earning enough money for me to cut my hair and buy earrings to match my short hair if not I will look like a butch. Ok that sounds bimbotic. Without directions, I will be swayed like the willowy trees with every thing that comes into my life that makes my heart pound like pounding belacan chili in the stone bowl. My heart will be fluttering like butterflies with every crush I have and my emotions will be controlled by my heartbeat. That's terrible and aimless. There is more to my life than to hanker after such things. Right Elvin??? hahahaha....
I want to find my directions for my life this year and I am determined to find it. I'm like going to be 24 this year (@#$@%#$^!) and if I still live my life aimlessly its a pity. (T___T.... I'm damn old....)
To all this 2009-
Wish you a good year ahead. Times are going to be bad, things will happen, but ultimately it is what is in your heart that will make you strong and stable despite all difficulties. Look for what is in your heart. :)
