God is good

Whoa. God is good. I see an opening in my life career for the first time. I'm going to start a magazine in my society. And with me I have met 2 very very talented girls. One is a celebrity food blogger. and the other, with the food blogger, has extensive experiences on creating a magazine.

Grab the chance man. Opportunity only knocks once. This is so like God-sent. I must build up my port folio. I don't care. I will work hard for this. I'm blessed. Woohoo

A tree is not a tree...

I know the IMF is held in Singapore... and I know that the government is trying to do up the place to welcome those delegates with flowers (first time I saw sunflowers planted in Singapore).... but I think this is an overkill... Gosh.... the poor tree... Can't they just leave those poor trees alone??? Its sooo GAWDY!!!!!! Do they have to do this???? Why can't a tree look like a TREE??? The government decides that... No! The trees don't look good! Even trees have to be beautiful! Yea.. maybe they don't match up to those western pine trees from Europe.... so they have to cover up their "tropicalness" with christmas decorums!

If the trees have feelings.. I think they would be crying... probably they will have low self esteem like most girls too... society deems them not "pretty enough"...

I LOVE fridays!!!!

Today was THE perfect day... I'm feeling so nice and rested... God is sooo good to provide me with such a nice day today!

I woke up at 9am, and started doing my work... and then the whole sky started to get real cloudy... at 11.30am it was so dark, as if the sun was going to set, and the weather was so cool... I settled in my room, only with the table lamp switched on, and I just laid back and enjoyed the peaceful serenity that the rainy weather brought... And it poured... soo nice! Cool breeze passed through my room... so shiok! I looked around my room, it was nice and dark... it looked rather gloomy but I was enjoying the melancholic feel of everything... things seem to be slowing down a lot. Ahh.. alone in my own room with the door closed.... in solitude.. thats what I badly needed for the past few weeks... a time for myself :) :) :)

Rest is very important. without rest I will be this cranky woman stressed up and either throwing fits of tantrums or getting into laughing fits...

So I am rested. My mind is refreshed once more. I hope everyday will be a rainy day. :)

Its the end of my week!!!!!

Good gosh... I can't believe my week is over.. my weekend starts tomorrow.. friday!!! This has been a terrible week.. I'm struck first by a bout of stomach discomforts from eating 1) too much and 2) Eating too oily foods

I have been home late on nights except today where I got a free ride home from Pei Qi's dad. Whee.. I reached home at midnight on Monday night... :P

Then there is this neck strain which is giving me a dull headache... its been on-going for days.. now its better, initially I can't even laugh loudly or climb the stairs too forcefully.. if not my brain will feel like its going into a fit of spasm...

And my horribly long day was today... it started at 6am where I went for morning devotion, lessons at 10, at just when I thought I could recoil from lecture I had to go for a group discussion till 1... couldn't find seats at the canteen so packed lunch to the perk point at the library to eat with Nicole.. But I guess relaxing at the perk point was good... air-con and nice seats.... talked a bit before draggin myself for a block of tutorials that ends at 6... half way through the tutorials I could feel my brain juice draining away as I slowly solidifed into a stone.........

And its finally over.... went home, dissolved into the sofa and took a nap... ahh...... finally im re-coiling....

I'm not thinking about the stuff I have to do later... *grumbles*

Going into a retreat....

Pardon me if I look totally tired or disinterested recently. I'm really tired and disinterested. In chinese, memories are called nao2 hai3. Brain-ocean. It perfectly describes my mind... a vast ocean of thoughts and memories. I think too much, I dwell too much on my past, and I am so paranoid of what people think of me. There is too much contradiction of who I am supposed to be to different people. The world is a stage and I'm an actress. I am whom they want me to be.

The real me? There is no real me. Its impossible. I know some friends have ceased talking to me. Neither have I made the effort to do something. Its not that I cannot be bothered... but I cannot find the strength at this point of time to face more setbacks. I just don't want to be social anymore. I want to run .... retreat to somewhere... I can be alone, in solitude, reflecting, refreshing, and renewing my mind.

I'm tired of gossips, I'm tired of people telling me what I am not supposed to know, I'm tired of pretending I don't know anything. I'm tired of fearing how people may see me, how I force myself to do things that are not what I want to do, tired of pushing myself to the limits. I have to know I cannot please everyone.

I have chosen to take a narrow path in life, giving my life my faith. Yes, this is what I have chosen, not many will encourage me to do this... its a painful process... it means a part of me will disappear, a new side will re-surface. Maybe its for the better, maybe its not as good, I don't know. I cannot please everyone.

For those friends who have ceased talking to me, I dunno if you still read my blog. I will find my strength to reconcile the relationship back with you one day, but not now. I'm sorry. I'm just too tired. I feel like retreating to some corner to rot and sleep. ZzzZzzz...

I had a dream again a few nights ago. Its always, always the same dream. That she is still alive and doing well back home. When I woke up and it dawned upon me that she really passed away so long back, it brought tears to my eyes... I really missed her... there is so much guilt in me that she didn't spend her last days well with her family. Goodness me... argh...

As I say my memories are as vast as the nao2 hai3. What I have wrote is totally incoherent. I'm just tired. Please pierce my head and let the memories leak out of me...

God save the (blur) Queen.....

How sotong can I get? How stoney can I get? how bluuur can I get? After yesterday, I conclude, and hereby coronate myself the:

ROYAL HIGH QUEEN OF BLUR-NESS.

I lost my sports shoes. 2 weeks ago. And I only realised it yesterday. When I couldn't find my shoes to go for a run. I remembered I brought it for the real run event, then I think in my tiredness I left it somewhere after service. Argh.... THOSE WERE NEW SHOES!!!!!!!!!
My darlings... oh no... I'm gonna get flabby.... my tummy is going to touch the floor...

Have to get new shoes sooon.... I'm getting flabby flabby flabby.... at the rate I eat and sleep and settle my butt down to mug. Need to run... need to run...

The Queen is bankrupt.

Yes. The year of 21s. Birthday after birthdays... lavishes after lavishes.... burn pocket burn....

From now on, I have to 1) rush home for lunch 2) bring cup noodles to school 3) Resort to giving people 2nd hand gifts.. (Oops did I just let it out???? =X)

A tour of my house (boliao-ness)

I dreamt of taking pictures when I was sleeping and suddenly I jumped out of bed and started to snap pictures. Inspired by my module "Ethnographic analysis in visual media" Anthropological interpretations in pictures. :)



Morning messs...

My table


Close up of my table

My favorite coffee/tea/ water mug



My little handpainted drawers... :)

This cute man is called Tommy. Tommy has a value behind it.


Hehe... needs no explanation.

View when you step in my room

View of the rest of my house from my room. Kitchen is on the far left....

Trying to be "artistic". Taken on the floor. Dining room.

Um.. my clock and the useless "trim your tuummy" hula hoop.

Chandelier in my living room.. taken lying down on the floor.

My balcony which runs through the dining and living room.

My pride and joy... My hand-made vases...

Far end of the balcony... where we play majong. I drew that picture too. Its a picture of 40++ sheep. :)


View from the balcony window.

Can see SA village.. and those houses like giant slides. I would imagine people sliding off them when I was younger.

Entrance of my house and my nice shoe rack.

Another one of my pride and joy....

I'm always so facinated by this porcealin lady. She is so intricate and life-like... so orientally beautiful.

You may find it scary... but I think other wise.. beautiful piece of claywork. Can you believe its from clay?????

Its so detailed right up to her fingers and her fruits. And the bangle that she wears is not stuck to her hand. It can shift up and down. Sooo life like...

Love icckies/ hicckis???

TGIF.... Can't wait for the new service that is going to take place tomorrow evening. And so glad that tomorrow I can sleep in!!!

Hmm... there is one incident that happened today that made me feel... pleasantly shy. I don't really know how to describe that feeling... like you can't stop smiling and feeling embarassed at the same time...

I saw a love bite for the first time. They call it hiccki? Iccki? Dunno... my fren said its hiccups minus the 'up' plus the "ki". I didn't take much notice of it initially.. I thought it was some mosquito bite or some rashes that developed and dried up and turned reddish black after sometime (like the acne on my face) Until fren 1 pointed at fren 2's neck and asked: "Is that a iccki?" I was looking all over the place thinking it was some lizzy(lizard) around and I saw fren 2 was adjusting her collar and I immediately realised what it was..... OOooooOOOooohh.

Den fren 1 and fren 2 started sharing their hiccki experiences. I listened about the different types of skin.. thin skin and thick skin.. which is more "bruisable"... And.. where to place your ickies so that its not so obvious... and I was sitting there feeling...shy.... hearing their accounts of their boyfriends and them.... I just sat there blushing.... so shy....

Hehehe...