My Origins!!!


This is so cool man... I was on the bus today, reflecting about my roots and my ancestors. I wanted to have a rough idea of where I came from.



For those who don't know: I'm teochew, and my surname is Pan. (Phua in dialect). My ancestors came from Swatow area, which means that if they did not migrate to Singapore, I would be a southern Chinese today. (Can't picture that.... :P)



My first search tells me that I'm a min chinese. The dialect I speak is min-nan, a derivation of chinese language. Okay, so this goes to show that my ethnicity is of Han chinese. It seems that I already know all these. But no, I was not happy to just know this. I want to know my origins waaaaaaaayyyyyy back in time, almost to the begining of civilisation. I combed the internet for this and here is what I got.



The origins of the Teochews.


The ancestors of the teochews are "generally believed to have moved from Central China to present day Chaosan (near Swatow) during civil wars in the Jin dynasty." The Jin dynasty is dated from AD 265-420.



Then I went to search for my surname Pan. This is what I found:



The surname Pan descended from Zhuan Xu (Gao Yang Shi) dated 2513-2435 B.C who is the grandson of Huang Di and son of Chang Yi in the Five Kingdom (Wu Di) period (2,697 - 2,205 B.C.) And............




Huang Di was the descendant of Fu Xi and Nu Huo, who were said to be the origins of mankind in the San Huang Wu Di era, the very very beginings of Chinese history.




Origins of mankind...isn't that Adam and Eve? And interestingly, this is what it says of Fuxi and NuHuo/ Nuwa:



"The common ancestors of the Chinese race are often regarded as Fu Xi and Nu Huo. According to the legend, they were brother and sister (children of God), but also husband and wife. It puzzled historians why Fu Xi and Nu Huo were often depicted as having human upper body, but with the lower body of a serpent. In light of the Bible's teaching, it's likely that Fu Xi and Nu Huo were Adam and Eve, and that the serpent bodies depict their fallen state as they were deceived by Satan (the serpent)" Website: http://www.yutopian.com/names/nametree.html





Picture of Fuxi and Nuwa taken from: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/4/4d/NuWa_Fuxi_CMyth.jpg





For those of you who don't know the timeline of the Chinese history:



This is taken from wikipeida:


ANCIENT HISTORY
3 Sovereigns and 5 Emperors (origins of Fuxi and NuWa, the begining of civilisation, and Zhuan Yu my greatest ancestor, the grandson of Huangdi, the son of Fuxi)
Xia Dynasty 2100–1600 BC
Shang Dynasty 1600–1046 BC
Zhou Dynasty 1122–256 BC
Western Zhou
Eastern Zhou
Spring and Autumn Period
Warring States Period

IMPERIAL HISTORY
Qin Dynasty 221 BC–206 BC
Han Dynasty 206 BC–220 AD
Western Han
Xin Dynasty
Eastern Han
Three Kingdoms 220–280
Wei, Shu & Wu
Jin Dynasty 265–420 (where the Teochews moved from central China to Chaosan (Swatow area)
Western Jin
Eastern Jin
16 Kingdoms304–439
Southern & Northern Dynasties 420–589
Sui Dynasty 581–619
Tang Dynasty 618–907
( Second Zhou 690–705 )
5 Dynasties &10 Kingdoms907–960
Liao Dynasty907–1125
Song Dynasty960–1279
Northern Song
W. Xia Dyn.
Southern Song
Jin Dyn.
Yuan Dynasty 1271–1368
Ming Dynasty 1368–1644
Qing Dynasty 1644–1911

MODERN History
Republic of China 1912–1949
People's Republicof China 1949–present
1949-1976 1976-1989 1989-2002 2002-present (I'm a result of Chinese diaspora!!!!) Me!me! me!
Republic of China(on Taiwan)



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



In addition, I did a biblical search and found that the roots of chinese culture and language are actually similar to many biblical origins: the language itself:



Check this website: http://www.windmillministries.org/frames/CH12A.htm






Just to give one example, the word yuan. Yuan means the begining. And the begining of mankind started with 2 people, or rather, in the above word, "child". Two creations of God. =)

Pei Qi must be very interested in this yea?? :)

So, after a night of internet search, I have found my origins to human kind- A descendant of Adam and Eve, and a (possible) descendant of the sumerians (Middle-Eastern origins). *Gasp* I wonder what happened to my deep-set eyes and very strong features. All I have now is chinky eyes, and a flat nose bridge!!!


Of course, this is not to say that all the websites I found are politically accurate. Please do not take this as the absolute information.


So what about you guys? Go find your roots and see your origins beyond just this century!!!!

Make a photobook - it's easy!

Yimin... I found your long lost twin!!!

Have you ever got into situations where you met a fren who looks almost similiar as another fren you know? Well definitely I have...

Of Maternity Clothes and Baby Talk...

Yesterday was my niece's 7th birthday party. My cousin invited her friends and their families as well. As I was so so so bored in the function room, I spent all the time observing the bunch of families as they went about swinging babies and toddlers around the room, chasing after them with bowls of baby food in their hands, carrying fluffy bags packed with milk bottles and diapers.... looking absolutely puffy with huge swollen bellies and struggling to walk with every step...

And I thought to myself, oh....my....goodness.... this is the scenario I will be facing in about 8-10 years???

All of a sudden, from my cool hangout places at cafes and shopping malls, to visiting auntie's house lugging a bunch of wailing kids, from activities like rock climbing and roller blading to activites like rocking-your-baby and playing with the swings at the playground, from buying cool stuff like crumpler bags and oakleys to buying baby stuff like milk bottles and bibs from Motherland......

Eeeek.

I can imagine a scenario where I scream at my husband:" LOOK OUT FOR BABY'S HEAD!!!!He's going to crash into the coffeetable!!!!" And my husband panics and scurries to pick up that tiny tot who doesn't seem to get what it means to crash your head into something hard.... Thats so uncool.

Or maybe a scene where I am struggling with an absolutely swollen belly and when I look into the mirror, I have horrible water retention on my face, I wear ridiculous fluffy clothing and my hair is conveniently cut short and auntie-like (so that I can be comfortable during confinement period).... *Gulp*.....

All these scenes, most probably I will see it in my peers in a short 6-8 years??
Its quite scary... how quickly I see my stages of transition in life... (actually given my age in other cultures its more than time to settle down and have kids)

I won't say I'm really looking forward to such a lifestyle at this present moment, I felt like I just grew up and there are so much more things to discover first...

But its such a strange thing...the cycle of life. First you are forced to grow up, you get into romantic settings in the dim of the night and do romantic things like candlelight dinner, walk in the beach, and you'd pay so much just to look your best, when in 5 years down after your marriage you shed those facades of yourself to reveal your haggard, naggy self, and buying the cheapest grocceries or even generic clothes from Metro for your kids and yourself.

I'm not putting down parents but its really ironical, the stages of life, after spending some time going for deep-meaning plays and watching movies filled with deep meanings you end up watching Barney or Sesame Street most of the time with your kid to entertain him or her. When you borrow books in the library, when you used to borrow Pride and Prejudice now you borrow picture books with HUGE fonts.

Strange, parenthood.

But I guess all these seemingly ridiculous things that young parents do in my opinion are worth it, for it is a life that they are bringing up, a precious life in their hands.

For me??? Naah... not in the near future....

S.W.E.A.T....



The gush of lactic acid into my forearms, feeling the heat of the morning as my body works overtime and exerts the muscles, beads of sweat rolling from my cheeks down to my neck, dripping. As the breeze runs through me, my sweat-stricken body feels the cool chill of the breeze as the perspiration evaporates off my skin. It feels great to be alive.

The sore raw-ness of the skin on my fingers as it grips the rough surface of the rock tile.... how my fingers throb with each push of blood into it.... the adrenaline surge with every lunge I take on the rocks.... its the painful pleasure of being aware of your existence...

Even as one of my fingers ballooned and swelled I am amused at how I sprained it... and only noticed the sprain when I saw my little ballooney finger. The pain concealed beyond the bandage tapes and the soreness of the skin, the pain concealed at my joy and love of the sport. Its all worth it.

At the end of a good back-breaking, muscle-straining climb, I continue my day, reeking of sweat and dusted with chalk, and of course, leaving with a trophy of toned, veiny arms.

Love... this four letter word...



All this while I had been pondering about love. Is there love that transcends beyond the Hollywood stereotype between a perfect man and woman? When people mention love what is the first thing that comes up your mind?



Like any other human being, I love to be loved. Especially in times of uncertainty, where I am rendered helpless and vulnerable, I desire comfort and reassurance.



I sought and pondered about love and I found it. I saw love in the most neligible circumstances. In the bond between a care-giver and a helpless bed-ridden old patient. In the smses of encouragement from friends, in the phone conversations I share with friends. From the reassuring hand that is placed firmly on my shoulders, from the sincere prayers of friends that touch my heart. From reading a heart-warming book, from the glistening rays of sunlight that radiates through after days of rain, from the rainbows peeking out shyly from the clouds.



In my brokeness, love came through stronger than I thought. "For a broken and contrite spirit Lord, you will not despise." (Psalm 51:17)



I saw another instance of love, that speaks so strongly. The relationship between my bed-ridden granny and my maid who takes care of her. The bond that is between them, the tears that my maid shed when she thinks of leaving my family to go back home, and the deep reliance and mutual bond that granny shared with her, speaks of unconditional love.

Whereas many would think its a burden and a chore to care for old, illness-stricken patients, there is the love I saw in such undesiring circumstances. That God has equipped us with this ability to have compassion on the least likeable things of the earth, and how, through love, the most uncomfortable situations can even become a bliss.

It all makes me think that heaven could be a place on earth, so long as love among people exists in the very place.

She asked me into the meeting room.... sat me down. She began talking.....

I felt something hit my back. A hard painful blow. Another one, and another one, blow after blow....

15 minutes later I left the room feeling trampled upon, shuffling my feet, heavily burdened with the daggers stuck in my back.

I had been backstabbed.

This..... my dear readers is the begining of Office Politics. A glimpse of my future.

Should I feel defeated? No way man. I'm gonna brandish and harden my shield from all the tongues of daggers....

NUS biathlon 08

Arrgh... I'm terribly disappointed with my performance this year for the biathlon. I have noticed: my muscles are disappearing.... they are getting flabby, and my stamina is goinngg goinng....

My timing is my wosrt ever! 1 hr 10min+++... but thats probably because I really took my own sweet time to complete the race. Had very bad calf cramps after that, and I couldn't walk properly for 3-4 days... oh well.... I guess there is a price to pay for getting a salary, you sell yourself (and your health?) to the company. Ha.

So, I have concluded... on top of other things... I need more discipline. Maybe I should run and swim at least once a week!

Because I am so not satisfied with my timing, I will come torture myself with a triathlon this year. Bintan tri??? OSIM? Bring it on man!!! Rarrr!!!!!

Anyway, some sloppy pictures of myself on the course. This is to encourage people that anyone, anyone can do a biathlon!

Ohhhkaayyyyy......



Here I am.... I'm supposed to write a paper on Joshua. The book of Joshua in the book of the bible. What can I say.... I'm sick of studying and I have absolutely no motivation to tweak my brain cells, at home, and after a day of work. And I'm like... wasting time typing rubbish here....



Recently someone ignited my interest for the discussion of the human condition. What it means to be human, what does it mean to have a culture, the difference between animals and humans ( in which we have come to no conclusion about the difference yet....) It got me thinking about many things... and we discussed our views between a religious nut and a staunch atheist.



He argued the following:

-that the judeo-christian views seem impossible for him...

-after some philosophical and in depth study, he convinced himself that the bible was not infallible...

-the works of the spiritual realm are denounced to just "religious efferverscence" aka mob behaviour, where when people get together in a mass they tend to fall into some trance....



And I.... got nothing much to say but 2 things:

1) Personally for myself, I felt the love and the touch of the Spirit so strongly, that all my defenses and questions took a back step....

2) Have you felt the touch of love by God during worship?



And as I went back home, many more questions and things I wanted to say etched on my mind...



If you are an atheist, who would you turn to in your darkest times? In times of emergency that is beyond your control?



Does knowing a lot of facts help in your well-being? Does it make you more at peace and happier?



Oh well.... but it was really nice talking to him... *_* (ahem ahem.... )

18 There is surely a future hope for you,
and your hope will not be cut off.
19 Listen, my son, and be wise,
and keep your heart on the right path.
20 Do not join those who drink too much wine
or gorge themselves on meat,
21 for drunkards and gluttons become poor,
and drowsiness clothes them in rags.
22 Listen to your father, who gave you life,
and do not despise your mother when she is old.
23 Buy the truth and do not sell it;
get wisdom, discipline and understanding.
24 The father of a righteous man has great joy;
he who has a wise son delights in him.
25 May your father and mother be glad;
may she who gave you birth rejoice!
26 My son, give me your heart
and let your eyes keep to my ways,
27 for a prostitute is a deep pit
and a wayward wife is a narrow well.
28 Like a bandit she lies in wait,
and multiplies the unfaithful among men.
29 Who has woe? Who has sorrow?
Who has strife? Who has complaints?
Who has needless bruises? Who has bloodshot eyes?
30 Those who linger over wine,
who go to sample bowls of mixed wine.
31 Do not gaze at wine when it is red,
when it sparkles in the cup,
when it goes down smoothly!
32 In the end it bites like a snake
and poisons like a viper.
33 Your eyes will see strange sights
and your mind imagine confusing things.
34 You will be like one sleeping on the high seas,
lying on top of the rigging.
35 "They hit me," you will say, "but I'm not hurt!
They beat me, but I don't feel it!
When will I wake up
so I can find another drink?"

Proverbs 23: 18-35

The night it rained a thousand birdshits on my car....

Driving is cool. I just removed the conspicous triangle sign. Yea! Love the way I'm in control of the car, how I can get to places fast and on my own.

But, alas, I have not learnt the art of parking the car in the right lot. Or maybe its just my car. Maybe its just my car on that Sunday. I went visiting on Sunday afternoon. Parked my car at the open air HDB estate.

There it was in its glory. 5 splats of shit. While I was cursing and cleaning up the shits, PRAGG!! SPRAGGG!!!! Another 2 fresh liquidy splats.

Narrrrbeh.

I thought it was quite bad already.

Then at night, I drove to Orchard to watch a movie with my aunt. I parked at the open air lot again. Got back to my car at midnight. My jaws dropped. I stood there gapping at the state of my car whilst some people in a car waiting to park at my lot stared at me pathetically staring at my pathetic car.

There was shit all over my windscreen. There was sh*t all over the bonnet. There was sh*t all over the top, the side, the back. As thick and white as liquid paper.

Imagine what came out under my breath. @#)%$)*%@#%$^%^

I swear I will roast and eat all the pigeons on the earth. Luckily its like midnight and less cars on the road when I drove home. I drove in shame. I drove away, humiliated. And I sped home. All because my car was drowned in a flood of birdshit. It looked like my car was shot with paintballs. My poor car.... suffered so much.

And it sure did smell FOWL. FOUL. Birdshit, when in huge amounts, STANK. I had to sacrifice my morning today to wash the shitty car. It took me 3 pails of water, carried up and down my 25 storey block, to wash it clean.

I don't know what those pea-brained pigeons ate. Their shit stuck on to my car like a tattoo. Just like a tattoo.... Maybe they nibbled on chewing gum that is thrown behind my those punks at cineleisure area. Does my car, champange colour in its glory, look like a FREAKIN toilet bowl to those feathered creatures? Oh.... maybe its so shiny that they had to use their shit to cover the car so that they could sleep well for the night, or afternoon for that matter.

Anyone likes to eat roast pigeon? Join me... I will eat all of you up!!!! I will skewer you from your buttocks! And scorch you over the fire!!! Pluck out your feathers!!! After that I will chop you into pieces! And chop your buttocks away!!! Chop chop chop!!!!Muahahahahahahhahaahha........