2008- Reflections
2008 has passed in the wink of an eye.... 2008 has been an eventful year for me. A year of maturity, a year of growth, and a year of self-discovery.
My career path was a bit of a roller coaster ride. The initial months of this year was terrible for me; I almost lost my job and I was having a hard time with some colleagues probably due to some misunderstanding. But after consulting my supervisor and leaders in church, I stayed on to assess my situation and to learn from whatever mistakes I made. Thankfully, things took a turn in the second mid-half of the year and I am really enjoying my time and appreciating all my colleagues in office. :)
The church experienced an exponential growth (spiritually and physically) nearing the end of the year... with that, we grew with the church, as we all felt the heartbeat of the Lord... call it collective growing or religious efferversence, whatever, but in the beginning of the 2008, after deep meditation with the Lord, the church felt that growth was best at the community/ fellowship level; instead of just the individual level.
As all humans, I faced some some struggles at the time of growth too. I was thirsting for more things to come my way, I was thirsting for changes and I had a great desire to serve and contrbute in many and any ways in various ministries... But in the midst of all the striving and being pushed to lead, coordinate and serve, I forgot about my dependence on the Lord and I created a god out of myself. I became very haughty and egostical, priding myself in my capablities of multi-tasking and leadership and thinking that without me, there wouldn't be so much of a difference and impact. I belittled people from my beady little eyes and I worshipped myself in my heart. How disgusting. To all my fellow brethen in church- sorry for that.
When I realised that one afternoon, I kind of crumbled. It took me a while to get back to normal functioning, and therefore I did not do a good job with coordinating the decorating of the church for Christmas at the end. I'd rather fail and be scolded than to do well and to once again glorify myself at the end of it. This lesson of humility taught me many things, and it also helped to shape my resolutions for the new year...
On a lighter note, brawn achievement this year----
I LOST WEIGHT!!!! HAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHHHAHAHAA
Completed some marathons, a mini-triathlon and a sprint-biathlon. Travelled far and wide to many places, including Perth, Beijing and Thailand. Had a grrreeat time with Sharzana to Malaysia for White water rafting. Its been a cool year.
Resolutions for 2009
I was meditating and reflecting for 2009. I dawned on me that this year is a year of Focus. Focus in every sense of the word. That means, streamdown my crazy load of service in ministry. streamdown my hectic schedule in sports. Streamdown my crazy races. Streamdown everything that will make me ditzy and "scatterbrained" to concentrate and do well in one.
Oh wait.... that means I need a "tok kong" organiser. Hmm...
Directions
I want to find my directions this year for my life. I have been studying and working all my life but without a concrete aim. Just drifting with the flow and earning enough money for me to cut my hair and buy earrings to match my short hair if not I will look like a butch. Ok that sounds bimbotic. Without directions, I will be swayed like the willowy trees with every thing that comes into my life that makes my heart pound like pounding belacan chili in the stone bowl. My heart will be fluttering like butterflies with every crush I have and my emotions will be controlled by my heartbeat. That's terrible and aimless. There is more to my life than to hanker after such things. Right Elvin??? hahahaha....
I want to find my directions for my life this year and I am determined to find it. I'm like going to be 24 this year (@#$@%#$^!) and if I still live my life aimlessly its a pity. (T___T.... I'm damn old....)
To all this 2009-
Wish you a good year ahead. Times are going to be bad, things will happen, but ultimately it is what is in your heart that will make you strong and stable despite all difficulties. Look for what is in your heart. :)
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
A MSN conversation.....
Elvin says:i mentioned u are abit ditzy
Elvin says:LOL
A.M.Y says:OMG
A.M.Y says:ELVIN
A.M.Y says:U DIE
A.M.Y says:I AM NOT DITZY
A.M.Y says:DITZY!!!
Elvin says:eh wat
A.M.Y says:GROSSSSSS
Elvin says:i din say neurotic
Elvin says:gd enuff le
A.M.Y says:U DIE
A.M.Y says:DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A.M.Y says:ARRRGHGHHGHHG
A.M.Y says:oh man
Elvin says:relac
Elvin says:matt agrees with me
Elvin says:HAHAHA
A.M.Y says:....................................
Elvin says:no la
Elvin says:it was just a passing comment
Elvin says:so chill
A.M.Y says:Im gg to cry
A.M.Y says:ah no la
A.M.Y says:that will make me more ditzy
Elvin says:...
AM.Y says:ok
Elvin says:now u are acting neurotic
A.M.Y says:nevermind
A.M.Y says:when I see you this wed....
Elvin says:yes?
Elvin says:what are u gg to do to me?
A.M.Y says:dunno
Elvin says:i have a pretty loud voice, so i might blurt out stuff
Elvin says:so must keep my mouuth busy, i dun mind some cookies
Elvin says:lol
A.M.Y says:neverMIND
A.M.Y says:I WILL SEE U THIS WED
Elvin says:it's tml
Elvin says:so dun make it sound as though it's very far
Elvin says:i know u can't wait to see me =)
A.M.Y says:yeaa... so I will see u TMR
A.M.Y says:i hope u din recalll any of the "im normal even though I work at IMH' yesteray
Elvin says:about tt
Elvin says:so we all had a gd laugh =)
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Whee!!!
Done many many things over the past 2 weeks. Went for the kayaking expedition and to Malaysia for white water rafting. I'm black and tanned again!!! My veins are RIPPLING outta my arms!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! (I have a fetish for veiny arms....)
Done many many things over the past 2 weeks. Went for the kayaking expedition and to Malaysia for white water rafting. I'm black and tanned again!!! My veins are RIPPLING outta my arms!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA! (I have a fetish for veiny arms....)
Pictures from the Kayaking Expedition =)
In the begining of the White Water Rafting trip at Larkin Terminal 
After the white water rafting, we had paintball the next day.....
Some poor gals sustained horrible bruises from the paintball bullet shots. Very colourful eh??? Must be so painful. I'm the coward- I hid myself so that I wouldn't be shot. HAhahahaha 
Going home from Larkin Terminal at JB. =)
No pictures for white water rafting.... we didn't want to wet our cameras....
Christmas Day!!!!
The decor team's painstakingly done up the board with the verse of Micah 5:4 cut from styrofoam, painted and stuck WORD by WORD on the board....
The verse says: "He will stand and sheperd his flock in the strength of the Lord, in the majesty of the name of the Lord his God. And they will live securely, for then His greatness will reach to the ends of the earth." Micah 5:4
How great is our God, that He will protect His people with all His might, and He will not fail to reach out and embrace into His kingdom those who strive and seek to know Him and acknowledge Him as Father God. How blessed are those who know and love Him!!! 
An unglam shot of me sleeping on the bus... =\ 
PQ and me!
If you haven noticed.... I have cut my hair. Damn short. But feels damn good. Haa. I have been wanting such a hair cut for ages!!!!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
This is my life...
This is my life, the way that it is. I live beyond existential means, beyond existential wants. Of human desires, of human leisure, I live in this world, experience these things, but yet I am not part of it.
My world lies far beyond what I do everyday, my world is intangible. My world doesn't revolve solely around shopping, getting the latest thing, being able to run 21 km or acheiving some feat.
My world strains to hear what is spoken to my heart. My world strives to see the intangible, the background mechanisms that run this world. My world does things the unconventional, unpopular way.
How strange, people... humans. That unique we are, one of a kind in every genetic variation, we all drift like floating planks on strong waves and tides, threshing about and gnashing when the waves pull and crash together. How strange, that as unique as we are, we follow things and trends like sheep in the flock of masses.
I have made the decision to deny myself. To sink my roots in where the streams of waters flow. To be firm in roots that no current or tide can uproot me.
It is not easy, it is a struggle, but what keeps me going, is the quest for truth and life.
This is my life, the way that it is. I live beyond existential means, beyond existential wants. Of human desires, of human leisure, I live in this world, experience these things, but yet I am not part of it.
My world lies far beyond what I do everyday, my world is intangible. My world doesn't revolve solely around shopping, getting the latest thing, being able to run 21 km or acheiving some feat.
My world strains to hear what is spoken to my heart. My world strives to see the intangible, the background mechanisms that run this world. My world does things the unconventional, unpopular way.
How strange, people... humans. That unique we are, one of a kind in every genetic variation, we all drift like floating planks on strong waves and tides, threshing about and gnashing when the waves pull and crash together. How strange, that as unique as we are, we follow things and trends like sheep in the flock of masses.
I have made the decision to deny myself. To sink my roots in where the streams of waters flow. To be firm in roots that no current or tide can uproot me.
It is not easy, it is a struggle, but what keeps me going, is the quest for truth and life.
Monday, December 01, 2008
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Monday, November 17, 2008
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Longing for....
Rays of the sun, shining and feeding into my skin. Feeling the warmth and glow of the sunlight.
Wind pushing through my cheeks and my hair, while I race down the road on my bike, adrenaline pumping through my veins.
Fatigue and pain in my muscles, throbbing with each surge of blood, sweat dripping off my forehead, a breeze passes and a cool feeling ensues...
Currents of water colliding against my body, while like a paddle I use my arms to glide through the waters like a boat.
Giggling and the chitter chatters in the school canteen, yakking gibberish away, no worries, no thoughts, just in the canteen, me, you, you and you.
Lazing around on saturday afternoons, strolling down the malls leisurely after a good fellowship.
Happily waiting for my parents to give me my pockect money, giving them a cheesy grin after every treat they give.
Student days.... minus the exams, minus the studying, are always memorable days...
Rays of the sun, shining and feeding into my skin. Feeling the warmth and glow of the sunlight.
Wind pushing through my cheeks and my hair, while I race down the road on my bike, adrenaline pumping through my veins.
Fatigue and pain in my muscles, throbbing with each surge of blood, sweat dripping off my forehead, a breeze passes and a cool feeling ensues...
Currents of water colliding against my body, while like a paddle I use my arms to glide through the waters like a boat.
Giggling and the chitter chatters in the school canteen, yakking gibberish away, no worries, no thoughts, just in the canteen, me, you, you and you.
Lazing around on saturday afternoons, strolling down the malls leisurely after a good fellowship.
Happily waiting for my parents to give me my pockect money, giving them a cheesy grin after every treat they give.
Student days.... minus the exams, minus the studying, are always memorable days...
Monday, October 20, 2008
Sunday, October 05, 2008
There is this bottle, made of glass, that contained some liquid in it.
This liquid seemed like water, crystal clear, resting stagnantly in the bottle. But this liquid was no ordinary water, it is filled with intense, strong and potent contents, not everyone is able to withstand it.
Why, such an ordinary bottle of seemingly harmless water, but it contained such anguish, such pain, such sorrow, tiredness, hurts, all in one.
What was in the bottle was called tears.
Tears of pain, tears of rejection, tears of shame, guilt and anguish. Not everyone can understand, not everyone knows how to deal with that bottle of tears.
But He came, took it and said: "God keeps your tears in a bottle, for He knows, and understands everydrop that fell, everydrop precious to Him, nothing goes to waste. He transforms the bottle of tears to a bottle of annointing oil, and uses it to bless the one who shed the tears, to comfort and restore the broken one."
This liquid seemed like water, crystal clear, resting stagnantly in the bottle. But this liquid was no ordinary water, it is filled with intense, strong and potent contents, not everyone is able to withstand it.
Why, such an ordinary bottle of seemingly harmless water, but it contained such anguish, such pain, such sorrow, tiredness, hurts, all in one.
What was in the bottle was called tears.
Tears of pain, tears of rejection, tears of shame, guilt and anguish. Not everyone can understand, not everyone knows how to deal with that bottle of tears.
But He came, took it and said: "God keeps your tears in a bottle, for He knows, and understands everydrop that fell, everydrop precious to Him, nothing goes to waste. He transforms the bottle of tears to a bottle of annointing oil, and uses it to bless the one who shed the tears, to comfort and restore the broken one."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)