I dragged myself to attend my colleague, Mariana's wedding today. Felt guilty that I missed service ( could not get up in time for the 8.00 service, had a bbq till late last night) So sleepily I dragged myself up from bed at around 8 am and started dressing up. I didn't know what to wear, formal or casual?I had planned to wear a blouse with a skirt, sort of smart casual, but sadly it was a little tight. So I settled for a dress, with a cardigan over it. Put on a little makeup, accessories and wore a pair of bad stilettos (developed bad blisters after that) and off I left the house.
Mariana's wedding, like other malay weddings was held in a void deck. Upon reaching, my fellow student associates and I sat down at one of the long tables and went to get lunch buffet style. Lunch was a range of yummilcious spicy malay food, bryani, rendang, spicy veggies, kuehs, curry puffs.. etc ) The void deck was prettily decorated. They had blue sashes drapped at the ceiling with yellow flowers placed where the sash was scrunged up. There were long rows of tables aligned to the centre aisle where a red carpet lay leading to a mini platform. On the platform was 2 elaborate looking chairs meant for the bride and groom to sit on and a beautiful backdrop for the platform. ( I think its for taking pictures with the bride and groom)
After having our fill and waiting for the bride and groom to appear, we saw the bride first sitting on one of the chairs on the platform. Mariana was sooo beautiful! Her costume was very, very, elaborate. She wore a golden kebaya and her hair was skilfully done up, with 3 hairpins studded with crystals at the side of her bun. Her bun was styled up so beautifully, with waves and curls, and of course, held together with lotsa hairspray and black pins. Her kebaya had lots of handsewn beads and embroidery all of golden and glamour. Can't really describe the kebaya cos it was so elaborate that I missed out the details. Its different looking at a malay bride to me because of their different styles of makeup and costume compared to chinese weddings. Somehow it dawned upon me that they are so much more deeply rooted in their heritage; Nothing she wore was influenced much by western culture, apart from the hairstyle she has, but even then, the hairpins were very 'malay" . Anyway, I was wondering why was she sitting at the chair without her groom. Usually for chinese and western weddings, bride and groom will enter the venue with a bang, but she was quietly sitting there... So after waiting for 15 minutes or so, we heard loud claps of malay drums from far... The groom is coming!!! So the groom, leading the whole procession strolled in with grandeur. Behind him was his family members, and behind them were the 10-12 strong malay drummers, arousing everyone's excitement and attention with the beat of the drums. Upon entering the void deck, he was stopped by male members of Mariana's family. Apparently they had to give a bride price and push their way through the barrier created. And Mariana's mom sat on the platform beside her, covering her face with a fluffy purple fan. That scene of her face being covered by a fan looked so... traditional.. like some scene in a play. I was enjoying every moment of the commotion. So after breaking through the barrier, the groom was seated on a chair in the middle of the aisle. They got a guy to perform silat ( malay martial arts) in front of the groom. Its like a ceremonial thing, but from what I interpret, his actions looked like they were warding off evil, and sort of transferring his powers to the groom. The groom also wore golden silk and lots of accessories. He had a kris with him, I think its symbolic, kris for the malays had representation of power and .. not too sure what. So, after all the performance comes the moment everyone was waiting for.. Mariana's mother to lift the purple fan up to expose Mariana's face and the groom gives a small bunch of flowers to the bride. They finally sit together on the platform and Mariana's mother took the bunch of flowers that Mariana received and.... used it to bless them??? I dunno.. she was holding it and sort of waved it around like some priest.. hmm not too sure what that was... And then they sat there while the malay drummers continued their claps and songs of cheers. ( I ony know one word from the entire cheer they sang: selamat .......) And that was the entire procession.Everyone resumed eating after that. Throughout the day, I saw the malays going about greeting people in their own ways: kissing of hands and placing their hands on their hearts.. so... cultural!
Hmm.. but during the procession I admired the malay culture, so strong and they are so proud of it. Who wears cheongsams to chinese weddings? In the first place, I don't think cheongsams are even my original heritage's costume. I'm teochew, by the way... But being a singaporean chinese, and a kantang(westernified) I realise there are not much accessories and traditions to follow during events. Everything is so.. modern. Apart from the bride who wears a cheongsam only for the tea ceremony, everyone else wears modern clothes. And because of that, some people underdress for the occasion. Jeans?!?! T-shirts! And for the men, who have lesser choices, they wear what they wear to work. -_-"'But who can blame them? Want them to wear a silky cheena blouse with chinese collar and chinese buttons- those that can be found in tourist shops along chinatown, they will say you are "siao!" Its like a laughing stock. And if girls wear cheongsams, those cheaper quality ones will make them look like waitresses. And they get laughed at. Sigh... I think I'm facing a culture identity crisis here...
Although my family do have our own traditions to follow eg: lunar new year,.. and thats about it.. *gasp* Its getting very diluted. VERY diluted. Even during New Year celebrations, we don't enjoy it! People come late, leave early, and some of us don't even wear new clothes anymore.. and yes.. more jeans and t-shirt seen during this occasion. The mood isn't there anymore... :( I think Christmas holds more meaning to me than New Year..
BUT.. I believe there is hope. The local arts scene is opening up. And with that, I expect cultural revival. As long as people do not belittle our own heritage costumes I believe one day we may see many chinese wearing cheongsams. Just like if everyone pokes fun of the kebaya, who will dare to wear it? So I think we also have to play a part to respect and follow traditons.
All these words are written from a "jiak kantang" who got c5 in her chinese language for AO levels. It shows that there is hope. :)
